Vanilla Ice

Although I am often regarded as an exceptionally cheerful and positive girl, there is a pretty long list of things that get on my nerves... probably a little too easily.

However, yesterday as I was contemplating life on my bicycle, I realized that much of this edge has been dulled in the past year. Is it because I've somehow become more patient? I really hope so, although I think it's perhaps more likely that my quick frustration with pet-peeves have gotten lost living in a foreign environment.

But there are a FEW things that will drive me crazy regardless of where I live. Most are not important, some would perhaps be a little too passive-aggressive to put on a blog. And thus, I give you the abridged list of things that drive me nuts:

• Having NO regard for time. 

Ok, look, I know that I am not perfect here. In my earlier years I took great pride in being a little bit late... still...nothing needs to be too rigid- no big deal. However, few things make me more crazy in school than the bell ringing and all of the teachers continuing to stand around and talk to each other! Go to class! We have to teach these young people things! I have come to think that valuing time is a way to show that you also value the time of whomever you're meeting with.

• People that cook really delicious things and then cut themselves the smallest peace in the world because it has too much 'fat'.

Of COURSE it does. But is it really fair for you to make super amazing things and then look down on other people for taking a very (very) large portion? No. I will never be a super skinny girl- and though I may be annoyed with my struggle for self control at places like Mr. Bulkey's and my grandmother's house, I am also not ashamed to say that I can hit a bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms pretty hard.

• The people that are disappointed when they realize that 'Ice Ice Baby' is really 'Under Pressure'

Yes, they have almost the same intro. But I cannot believe how many bars I've been in during my mere 4 years of bar-hood when people let out sighs of disappointment upon hearing Queen when anticipating Vanilla Ice. Are you kidding me? It's like getting Morgan Freeman and demanding Tracy Morgan. Being given Casa Bonita and demanding Taco Bell. You people make me sick.

There is a place that I often
go on my bike when I need
beauty
or when I don't.
I am always
surprised.
my expectations are always
exceeded.
even my colorful mind,
which always
imagines things being better than they really are,
cannot contrive a place this magical.

It isn't the way the sun
shines on the trees in the valley
nor the color of the mountain wreath
surrounding me
it isn't even the beauty
itself,
I don't know what makes this beauty so beautiful
perhaps that
is it.

Brianna.
She saw this place.
maybe she lived there, now that I think about it.
because I know I heard her sing about it in
every note.
and I always
wondered.
How can a song be so beautiful that it forbids
jealousy
so beautiful that it's conquered even that.
And Robin. In her red dress
every Sunday.
Tender heart filled with love. Always
good.
Kevin. The stories they tell.
That beauty- it's
always.


I do not understand.
I do not
understand. Zdravko. Always
tender.
we were a good team,
weren't we.
I think we won. but maybe we lost
it isn't so important.
in fact, it doesn't matter at all. 

I do not
understand.
Didn't you ever take that path there?
where I go on my bike
when I need
beauty
or when I don't.

even my colorful mind,
which always
imagines things being better than they really are,
cannot contrive a place this magical.

I don't know what makes this place so beautiful.
but just knowing that it is
is enough

Something's Coming

Could it be?

Yes it could.

Somethin's comin'

Something good.

If I can wait.

Somethin's coming

I don't know 

What it is

But it is

It's gonna be great.

Something IS COMING. Perhaps that sounds like a super lame statement. Obviously something is coming. Itak, Nicole. But what? Where to go from here?

Last week I found out that I will NOT be receiving a Boren Fellowship. Bummer. Škoda. I've been coasting for a while, perhaps even riding the wave of scholarships and grants to Slovenia, but I guess even Johnny Tsunami has to fall off sometimes- and I guess I've gotten much better in time at dealing with Emergency Swimming Situations.

Truth is, while I received an initial shock at my plans finding themselves up in the air, a little bit of excitement has began. Ok, a lot. Like, I couldn't sleep on Wednesday night because I was so excited about whatever is next. I might be here (I'm speaking to my principal tomorrow about my chances at getting hired even if the project I work for completely loses funding) in Slovenia- working part time and finishing my thesis... and I might not. I'm hoping for wisdom and clarity in this time of chaos, but have miraculously already received peace in the knowledge that I am an adventurist- if I go where I think I should go, it is going to be an adventure.

"There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." -Jawaharial Nehru