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When I was little, homesickness manifested itself in me as a physical pain in my stomach. Whenever I would go places with new friends I would have to go back home to my mom, and only then would the pain subside and I would be able to enjoy again. This went on long enough to drive my mom insane: She told me next time my stomach hurt, I needed to remember that I was probably just homesick and try to push through it. Shortly after this conversation, I was invited to go to the pool with Lindsy Cusic. Promptly, I told Lindsy and her mom that I was ill and needed to go home. My mum was pretty frustrated (and legitimately so- I think that this went on for quite a while). She was in the middle of telling me how much I needed to get over this silly homesickness when I actually threw up all over my room.

I cannot say that I haven't had my fair share of being homesick since I have arrived here. Ok- maybe it doesn't look the same as it did when I was a child, but I have had those moments of longing for you people, and I am sure they are not over. Sometimes I even physically hurt. I suppose to a certain degree homesickness can also mean loneliness or boredom. I (probably more than most) have this incredible ability of remembering only nice, positive things, and thus looking back to my life in Lawrence seems full of excitement and activity. More and more I feel that homesickness has a bigger role in my life, as I meet more people that I do not want to let go of, and thus more people that I will miss in some way when something reminds me of them and space or time or death or life prevents us from being together. And of course I still feel the most basic form of homesickness- where I want my mum to hug me and tell me I am ok.

Homesickness is not a daily struggle here. No, as I grow up and continue to love traveling and meeting new people, this homesickness becomes more of a regular part of me. Not necessarily a pain, but a beautiful longing. And, of course, I have people here also that I would miss if I wasn't here. And yesterday, we had Thanksgiving together.

Sort of?
It was a mash-up Moving in, half-birthday, Pumpkin day, Thanksgiving. My amazing friend Sara and I went on a mission to find all of the pumpkins that we could on Friday. 2 weeks ago she suggested we 'just ask' the bars if we could have their pumpkins. They said no... 2 weeks ago. This Friday we walked back and forth through Radovljica, carrying 3 large pumpkins home (as in, they let us this week, not we stole 4 pumpkins). In the spirit of Pumpkin day, we had Pumpkin Rolls, Pumpkin Soup, Pumpkin Seeds, Roasted Pumpkin and Wasserman Squares. Pero brought Pumpkin Ham ('Really?!' 'no'). And we ate together.

It was lovely.
I realized about half-way through dinner that this was my first Thanksgiving. True, we didn't have turkey, we didn't have stuffing, but I did make sweet potato french fries and there were some mashed things... all in all, very successful. However, the thing that made it the most successful was that it was a table of people that I am thankful for. A table of people that I am a little homesick for when I am away.


Hey- maybe some day we can all do it together?