So wait- not everyone shows their emotions on their sleeves?

I would normally consider myself to be especially empathetic. I think that my 4th grade teacher did a really good job of teaching this concept and, if anything, I try too hard to put myself in others' shoes... as a teacher, this is also a weakness- I put myself in others shoes and then assume that everyone really is ME in their shoes, and thus does love learning for the sake of learning and wants to please the teacher because it's the right thing to do (and thus does think that my jokes are funny. Also, wrong). In reality, some kids just don't care.

And then the opposite is true: There are times when I am completely and utterly surprised by the emotions that people are holding on to because I have not tried to put myself in their shoes, and couldn't even if I wanted to. These Slovenes, I'll tell you what. I cannot predict the level with which they care about things because they express it in such a different way than I am used to doing myself (which is on every part of my face. SEE: CASA BONITA VIDEO 2008).

Well in a few areas of my life I've been starting to understand that people (even back home) really can care about things and express them differently than me. Sounds like a no-brainer, but it's pretty revolutionary in my life. Slovenes are known for being quite closed and taking a while to warm up to people. I've been living in Gorenjska for a long time now and couldn't agree more (with exceptions, of course). There have been people who have immediately taken to me (i.e. everyone under the age of 13), there have been people that have immediately and obviously disliked me, and I assumed that everyone else just didn't really care.


However, the past week or so brought me a few really touching moments- perhaps even more so because these moments showed me how little I understood about how we all effect each other.

1. Volleyball goodbyes. Ok- I don't think it's a secret that most of my company is either twice or half my age. And I love it. So much. I once read a book where a grandmother writes her grandson a letter and it says something like I hope that you find someone to be the blessing that you have been to me, and by that, I mean someone of a younger generation. Love this. Especially because I can totally relate here-- and I can see the ways that I have been a blessing to those older than me. Last week we were supposed to have our final game and afterwards we all met for a drink. Sandi shook my hand at the end- I like Sandi... he never says hi to me when he comes, but sometimes I wave at him from the other side of the court (it's more acceptable here than in taekwondo, where I also wave to people). Sandi is good. Probably about 63 or 64. He's got a weak serve but a wicked spike. So anyway... Sandi shook my hand, and then KEPT HOLDING ON TO IT while looking me in the eye.
'I am happy to know you. You have brought so much positive energy to the game, to our group. It will be very sad to see you go, but don't forget about us. We won't forget you. We won't forget your smile.'
I cried, but don't worry, we were in the kitchen so I pretended to cut onions. No one noticed.

2. Birthday wishes. This is your day, right? Well, at least June 2nd is mind, and now hopefully everyone should know... I've worked DAMN hard to make sure everyone hears a little melody in their heads on this day. Anyway- I got to celebrate with 2 groups of people that I really love... my students and my friends. However, I received a little surprise from the 5th graders, who remembered it was my birthday and were standing SILENTLY (this would mean more if you knew them), prepared to sing as soon as I walked into their door. Getting school-birthday rejected for the past 24 years was FULLY redeemed last week. Beautiful.

3. The art teacher. Now this was also really touching. I don't really know the art teacher. She sticks to herself for the most part, which I totally understand, given middle school drama in the staffroom. I've always liked her though. Once we met for coffee and she bought me a little chocolate thing that looks (and tastes?) like a hedgehog (just kidding about the former parenthesis).
She came to the play! Her, the gym coach, one of the cleaning ladies, two English teachers, and a 5th grade teacher. Amazing. I was floored.  And even more so when she gave me a flower before the performance and told me that she was already sure it was going to be a great show.

Anyway- the point of all of this is to express my gratitude to Sandi, to Tone, to Vika, and to 5C. It is a gift to care for people... and it is a gift to be encouraged. I seriously feel like I'm swimming in love. Hopefully that explains the cheesiness of this post.