the present moment

So I really love young adult science fiction or fantasy books- you probably know this about me already. And I love them shamelessly, because they are awesome, and I am therefore awesome for reading them without being able to set them down. They all look really cool too, sci-fi books. I think that it's a requirement that they have at least one person glowing on the cover.

A few months ago, I stumbled across a great book by Mr. Orson Scott Card, entitled Seventh Son. This book has my favorite literary character of all time, a man named "Taleswapper" whose role in life is to hear peoples stories and tell only those that are true. What a good life that would be...


I just finished the 2nd book of the series, which was slightly more lame, but equally addicting in the end. This was the last paragraph:
“At night in his own bed, Alvin listened to the distant greensong, still warm and beautiful, still bright and hopeful even though the forest was getting so sparse, even though the future was so dim. Cause there’s no fear of the future in the song of life, just the ever-joyful present moment. That’s all I want right now, though Alvin. The present moment, which is good enough.”
-Red Prophet by Orson Scott Card

I like this. All I want is the present moment... i like this a lot.
Right now, I am sitting in Ancka's living room: the window is open because it's cool due to the rain, and I can hear the people speaking at the bar across the street, laughing. I can hear polka music playing in the background (and I'd be willing to put good money on that accordion player being under the age of 30) and I can feel the mountain breeze on my shoulders. And I do feel really present here- I do feel like I am engaging in the life that I am living, but I don't think that life is isolated within Slovenia.

Living fully in the present- something that I want to do. To fully engage in life- holding nothing back... fully engaging in joy, fully engaging in sorrow (see: The Prophet). And yet, I recognize that I spend a lot of my time keeping in touch with people- refusing to let people leave my life even if they have moved on to different things... Does that take away from fully living in the present?

I don't think so... if you are someone that is in my life, it's probably because I cannot let you go. we are intertwined. I am attached to you because you have made me who I am somehow... so it seems natural to me that living fully in the present would also mean remaining attached with all of the people that I love. To be fully in the present, I need to be fully myself. Which means engaging with you people. That I love.



I'm really exhausted, so forgive me if none of that made sense. And if you'd prefer that I just keep the blog for reporting funny stories, i can do that.