I gave him the side hug

Social skills are a difficult thing to measure.
In some social areas, I'd say I'm doing just fine. For example, I generally make a pretty good first impression among parents. Actually, most parents love me, and I'm pretty sure a few have even tried to encourage their sons to court me. I've got some amazing trait that makes kids flock after me* and even attempt to emulate my every move**. Regardless of which country I am in, I'm always popular among the nursing-home crowd...

And yet, there are some skills that are just absolutely not there, or at least frequently missing: Like the ability to open the door without hitting my own face. Or the grace in leaving a shop without knocking over the display by the front door. Or the power to be in pictures without my mouth open. I do not think that I can be in a remotely exciting situation without looking like a little kid on Christmas (and not just any kid on Christmas... but one who's seeing snow for the first time after just finding out that they're going to Disney world the next day). I must be the worst person in the world at being smooth...

I am not sure how people would describe me in 3 words... but I am guessing it would not be 'smooth', 'cool', and 'relaxed' (unless, of course, the person describing me was me, in which case 'COOL' would definitely be in the mix. Along with wonderful... charming...).

Earlier this weekend I was spelunking with a friend and her family. I had to apologize for nearly wiping out for the bajillionth time and described myself as being awkward (actually, I first incorrectly said ''Nerodno mi gre'' and then later asked my friend if I said that correctly. Apparently, I said that I am embarrassed instead of that I am awkward, so I had to return to Ana's sister and tell her that I didn't mean I am embarrassed, but that instead I mean I am awkward). She asked me why I think that... and after a very long pause, I decided to answer her with this: ''Nisem sigurna'' (''I am not sure'').

Lie. I just didn't want to try to explain in Slovene. I have about 500 stories that involve me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time... echoing something that someone else said immediately and in front of them without realizing I am doing so... sneezing phlegm onto someone else's math paper... falling on my face while giving 20 college kids a tour of campus... The earliest super awkward occasion that I can remember was giving a PROJECT TALK on making your own picture frames in 4-H when I was young. ''Just remember, you must leave one side unglued... which I forgot to do'' (so I'll just slide in this picture that I took with the judge leaving glue streaks across her face). My most recent awkward occasion involved going back to the bike shop (where I'd already been several times last week) to attach the cleats to my new shoes. I made a spectacle of having found the cleats that came with the pedals that I'd bought at another store on sale... only to realize that I left them at home, had to leave again, and knocked over a whole line of bikes on my way out of the shop.

A normal day in my life is anything but glorious. However, I've gotten so used to these moments that I no longer get embarrassed by them- I just take them in stride. Tell them as stories, even. Which is where the title comes in: The story of my favorite lack-of-social-skills-moment, the answer to Mateja's question if I had enough language skills:
Several years ago, the dream team took a trip to visit Kate Wasserman in Dallas, TX. Amanda, Tyler and myself packed into Tyler's car and hit the open road. There are many stories from this trip worth repeating, and many moments that I would like to destroy along with any videos that had been made later capturing these moments (I will seriously be very upset if you attempt to post a link here. Please don't).
Somewhere in the middle of this trip, we went to lunch with Tyler's aunt and uncle. We met them at their house after passing the first Chile's in existence (at which time I complained about how much I hate Chile's. It's got to be one of my least favorite restaurants in the world. Derek loves it though, and for this reason we had to go every year on his birthday from the time he had teeth until the time I moved to another country). For some reason, this was one of those days where I was not fully with it. A little slow on the uptake... drifting in and out of the conversations. One moment we were in the living room chatting about our majors... next moment, I'm fading in and out of convos in the kitchen ('Yeah! It's the first Chile's ever made- we'd love to take you all there for lunch)... next moment, Tyler's uncle comes over to me and out of nowhere GIVES ME THE SIDE HUG.
Yeah, I was confused about it too. I gave Tyler this look like ''What's wrong with your uncle? Why is he reaching out to hug me?''. Tyler just shook his head.
Apparently his hat was on the shelf behind me, and I misread, causing me to reach out and cling to him.

I cannot say that the awkwardness of the day stopped there. I also caused a lot of confusion in the parking lot of Chile's, also with hugging. Additionally, as I recall, there was a moment when someone stopped at our table to tell Amanda that her taco was the same size as her head. I had nothing to do with that moment, but its worth mentioning nonetheless.

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*Probably my extreme wisdom and maturity.
**Muhaha