It's a secret no one knows... (and a blog post no one can predict the direction of...)

Today was a surprisingly good day. I usually expect good days (at least now that I am LOVING my job again), but every once and a while, I anticipate being a little bit down, especially when life brings a responsibility to do some hard or unpleasant things. But those things are not a part of the story for today- rather, today's story tells of peace and delight.

Let's back this thing up:
When I was little, I looked for happiness like all children: The temporary stuff... you know, those things that won't last (i.e. ice cream cones, cycling, roller-blading... oh wait...). Then I grew up (ha) and realized that ''Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness'' (George Orwell). I think that this is a good word that echos the creepy words that have been abused over and over again through time... Do it for the greater good. But since I am not a Death eater or a dictator or one of those village watch people trying to win the best-community-in-England for the x-teenth time in a row, I can say that I believe many things need to be done for the greater good, leading to the most complete (i.e. mental, physical, emotional) health possible (take that with a grain of salt- as many of you remember, 25cent cone month at DQ was pretty much the happiest month of my life).

Part of that, for me, means following my heart- even if it means I am 7 time zones away from where I want to be to watch the KU defeat Kentucky (admittedly, I don't care so much about basketball, but I'm missing an opportunity to be excited with you amazing people, give high fives to strangers, and hopefully watch one friend accidentally give another a black eye).

I don't know where I will be next year. I know (well, sort of) what my heart is telling me... but am still working on the practical issues- which I am not generally as concerned with. I'm sure that sometime I will receive a rude awakening, but it still seems like following your heart (and by that, I hope that I mean a heart that exists to worship God in as complete of a way as possible) will lead you exactly to the place you need to go.

(I can't tell if I sound too much like a hippie or a religious fanatic writing this?)

It's really nice to see where many of you have ended up, also by following your heart for what you should at this point in life. What exciting things- Some of you in a different culture, a new environment. Some have embarked on the incredible adventure of love. Some are now bringing new lives into the world (!). How amazing to see the equally valuable things that we have all found ourselves doing. Beautiful.

It's been an interesting journey toward OWNING what I feel like my life has given me at this point. I don't think that I expected this path for myself years ago. I definitely didn't when I was a little girl- I remember imagining myself as a college student- I imagined I would have a serious boyfriend, a very large perm, and would live somewhere like California. I definitely expected to be fashionable. Talented, probably. This was probably at the time I also thought I would be an astronaut (before the very significant period of time where I thought I would be an actress in Disney Channel Original Movies). Interesting how none of those things really seemed to pan out... and how I've finally really started to be confident in my path regardless of its divergence from any of the expectations that I've had.

One thing that Slovenes are really really good at is OWNING whatever they're doing. If you've got a talent here, you are really proud of it. If you can sing, you sing. If you like singing, but are horrible, you sing anyway. If you've got any artistic ability, you enter into every art competition possible, if you like your shirt, but nobody else does, you wear it anyway. If your favorite animal is a honey-bee, you are not too embarrassed to write it in your letter to your American pen-pal. Perhaps these examples do not portray the depth to which you can feel it in these kids, but it has inspired me to try to own more of my own decisions and the things on my heart. And it's made me really motivated to follow up my decisions and my heart with ACTIONS that live out what I decide to do (note: I am not saying I'm SUCCESSFUL in this, but look- I'm tryin' here).

SO, although this is not where I expected this blog post to go, and although I don't think that I really have a right to give an emotional speech or advice, I'm going to try to encourage you to own whatever you're doing. I do not mean do whatever you said you would do once- that is stubbornness and, in my opinion, locks politicians and girlfriends and teachers into doing stupid shit. BUT the advice that I am trying to follow right now is to re-evaluate what is on my heart and then embark on 'whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...' And embark on it with confidence and energy even if it leads to the unknown, trusting that it's on my heart for such a real reason that I will inevitably get to where I need to go.