That Wasn't the Whole Point... Longing for Home, part II

Frederick Buechner is wonderful- I used to want CS Lewis to be my grandfather (in addition to those that I already had, plus Mr. Wickman, my high school Calculus teacher), but now I think that the extra-grandfather-that-is-a-phenomenal-Christian-author spot is going to have to be filled with Mr. Buechner (ok, I'd take either).

The used copy of Longing For Home that I was given from Jon Birney a few years ago is now marked up with colored pen, pencils, and food smudges (the latter being unintentional). And it's a book wholly appropriate for me at the moment, for several reasons:
1. I have no idea where I will live next year
2. There are 3 places that have very much become home for me (Kansas, Slovenia, Nova Scotia), but those are not the places I want to teach for now.
3. Graham Ripple, who knows me (though not in the biblical sense) wrote me this question a few months ago: "Do you feel like you are supposed to find "home" or create "home" for people."

Both, Graham, both.
I want to be present where I am, and in order to live fully as myself, I have to be myself, and to do that, I have to feel at home.

It's strange to be home at the moment: Here in Kansas. It's wonderful- I love my family, and I love my friends, but of course home has changed. It's strange to sit around the table and feel the absence of grandpa, dedek, babica, and in a different circle: Brianna, Kevin.

Buechner, in a beautiful chapter entitled "The Journey Toward Wholeness" writes of visiting his grandmother in a nursing home- it turns out to be the last time they see each other, and everyone is aware of that from the get-go. Her name is Naya, and he describes how she is able to see them without being overcome with grief at possibly seeing each other for the last time. Frederick writes:

She did not lose sight of us by focusing on her own predicament, as I am quite sure that in her place I would have done. Instead it would be more accurate to say that she lost sight of her own predicament by focusing on us, and I believe that the capacity for doing that is another mark of her wholeness.
To be whole, I think, means among other things that you see the world whole. She wrote of the ignominy of having become an old woman in a nursing home instead of the Naya of legend, but because she was able not only to identify the ignominy but also not to be overwhelmed by it, she revealed herself as still the Naya of legend even so. At the same time she identified what she called the joy of seeing us without being overwhelmed by that either, overwhelmed, that is, in the sense of losing track of the joy in the realization that she was never going to experience it again. In other words, she was "all there," as the saying goes. She saw both the light and the dark of what the world was offering her and was not split in two by them. She was whole in herself and saw the world as whole.
-page 108-109

I wish that I had words that were equally beautiful as Buechner's to describe how this section makes me feel... However, Buechner never did become my grandfather, and I am simple folk :) Still, I want to live in this beautiful truth when I grieve death and change. To take grief at loss and joy in memories as a part of the same stride and still not feel lost in my emotions.

Longing for Home

It's Christmas.

For those of you who know me well*, you probably understand that when I enjoy things, I'm a bit extreme about them. I might
be a little extreme in general. Christmas time = a lot of reminiscing (especially seeing as I am friends with Jessica Heath), and it's been nice to revisit those things that I used to be extreme about, and see how they've changed**.

Christmas was one of those things. I sincerely apologize to anyone that was once blinded sitting behind me in class with Christmas lights (battery powered) winding around my hair. My apologies also for the others with lockers on the second floor of MHS East Campus who had to endure the clogged hallway from visitors to the "Holiday" locker. I was a Christmas extremist, I'll admit it.- I listened to my Christmas cassette tape all through the year- I had a 3 digit Christmas countdown shirt- I marathoned every cartoon version of "A Christmas Carol". And somehow, I lost that extreme passion somewhere in between being super-emotional about the imminent high school graduation and finding new obsessions to replace the old.

I would like to say, my love for Christmas is back- but not for the same reasons... Gifts annoy me at times, I feel a little more guilty about eating 3 dozen sugar cookies, lights seem like an utter waste of electricity, I do not care about Scooby-Do being haunted by the ghost of Christmas past.
I do however love coming back here- To my wonderful family, to my beloved friends. To the soup Christmas dinner at my house, and to sitting at the kids table even though we now have a bottle of wine instead of a carafe of Kool-aid.

What's the point? I like Christmas, even though I no longer make a paper chain with 365 links, as in years past.

Schmidt/Orazem family Christmas quote of the Year:
2010: "Will you assholes stop sending me this shit? I don't even know what the hell we're talking about"
2009: "Hmmmm, maybe this explains some things (-Derek, while pulling 6 bottles of wine and an empty bottle of whiskey out of the recycling bin)








*which I realize is everyone that reads this blog...
**there are SOME things I prefer to not revisit, but inevitably will be brought up. So, Graham, let me jump ahead of you and mention Hollywood, "Amen", hyperhydrosis, and the variety show. I REGRET NOTHING!

Ms. Schmidt Goes Hard in the Paint

As most of you know, I finished my first batch of student teaching 3 weeks ago.

"What? Ms. Schmidt? You finished and you only posted 3 times during the whole experience? And now it's been 3 weeks and you're just now getting to us???"

Forgive me. Teaching was a crazy whirlpool of not sleeping, learning Earth and Space science concepts days before teaching them, making lesson plans to meet the needs of 155 different learners, and teaching myself how to speak Slovene and dance the dougie in my free time.

But now enough time has passed that I can post stories as they come back to me... every day something will remind me of that time that De'von intimidated me, but then came in after school to practice his cursive, or that time we... deviated from the mandatory "Second Step BS*" curriculum and learned teamwork and sportsmanship by ripping apart that other homeroom.

But this story comes up several times each day, mostly after I do something embarrassing [or borderline detrimental], and need to redeem myself by showing how awesome I am.

Do you remember this?

*Note: Second Step teaching students important skills, in the most unhelpful manners possible. BS was my own addition.
The football players in high school would get each other to look at it, and then punch each other in the shoulder or stomach? (I know, I know; clearly not the typical football hand)

Well now, it's this:


Except, there's no punching. The whole goal is go get each other to look at your hand in this position, and then just make the "Oooooh dang!" sounds when you get people to look.

And I'm AWESOME at it.

We're talking, 100% legit. Ask me stories about all of my pure ownage, I've got tons... but this is the best one.

Ms. Schmidt learns how to discipline, Case #1: So there's a gentlemen named Reuben (note: I never give real names) in my class... a pretty odd kid, though also incredibly endearing. Well, Reuben gets picked on a lot for being a little out of the ordinary. One day, he says to me:
"Ms. Schmidt, someone stole my stuff"
I quickly look and see it under the table.
"No, Reuben, someone just moved it."
I look around- Tyree is sitting close... notorious for this sort of thing, but he's pretty nice to me.
"Tyree, did you move Reuben's stuff?"
"No! I didn't do it Ms. Schmidt, you didn't see me do it!"
"You're right, I didn't see you do that, but I did see this.

It was perfect. Reuben went crazy, winning, but without being beaten up after school. Tyree knew I didn't approve, but in a way that just showed Reuben how to positively dish it back.

Best part of all? Two rows back, Justin turns to Alexander:
"Dude, Alexander... Ms. Schmidt goes hard in the paint"


FACT.

Only My Students

Sept 24th, SURVEY:

#15: If you could be any flavor of Jell-O, which would you be, and why?

-"I'd be pimp, cuz it's pimp"
Great answer, sir.

My Friends Don't Think I Match.

Whoa, end of the first week: it was nuts- I am exhausted. My feet hurt. I don't want to do anything on this fine Friday night except eat the torte that I made (as an attempt at brownies...) and maybe go to sleep in 25 minutes. We'll see.


But it was incredible. I am going to be doing what I love... this much is apparent now, and I am teaching a content that I think is horribly boring (sorry, Paul)- rocks, weather, geography... I don't really care, but I do care about my 155 kids that spend 1/8 of their school day in my classroom.

______________________
"Ms. Schmidt"
"Yes, LaKitra"
"ooooooh- she knows your name!"
"I know your name too, MarQuan, so you better watch out."
(giggles)
"Ms. Schmidt, you crazy, thats TyJuan."
______________________

"Who dat?"
"Ohh, her? Dat's Smiles. Ms. Loeffler treating you ok, Smiles?"
______________________

And, my personal favorite of the week:

"Ms. Schmidt, I like your outfit today. Well, actually I liked your outfit yesterday, I just forgot to tell you."
______________________

Really? Does that transfer over until the next day? Either way, I'll take it. I'm not used to people complimenting my clothes. In fact, these are the usual clothing comments that I receive:

'Nicole, can I borrow some socks... but like, normal colors, nothing bright.'
"Do I usually wear bright socks?"
"Well, you're just like me, you just seem to pick things and put them on. Only, most of my things are neutral."
Who knew?


I compliment my kids too... they have a dress code (solid navy, khaki, or white tops and bottoms), but can wear whatever shoes they want. Which is why most of them have super colorful or bright shoes. One big personality wears multiple pairs of socks, all showing his Nike swoosh. I'm not cool enough to pull that off. In fact, they all think that I have "lame" shoes. But I'm cool, at least. Well, sort of cool. Today someone actually warned me to not "get all gangsta on him."

"Ms Schmidt!"

"Ms. Schmidt, I didn't know you had a nose ring."


"You've known me for 14 minutes JaMal."

(Note: ma and pa... it's already helping me to build relationships with the kids.)

There's gotta be someway... yes, there's gotta be someway.

Wow- it is ''prenora'' that it is already the 23rd of July... meaning I leave Slovenia in a few days... less than 2 weeks. I am pretty heart broken, but realize that I have chosen this way of life... knowing people deeply and well- allowing myself to be blessed by them and also, then, living away from them... feeling their absense. I find myself in this pattern that I am completely thankful for, and completely broken by.


I miss you. If you are reading my blog, I am assuming that is true, mostly because I do not think that I am such a stellar author (or storyteller, for that matter, as much as it pains me to say that) that people who do not care about me would read my writings.*

This has been a really unusual summer. I fought against allowing myself to form any expections- mostly becuase I have a wild and extremely optimistic outlook on life and tend to imagine perfect situations where everything always goes right. Therefore, I am glad that I tried to go without expectations... certainly I would not have expected this summer to go this way. Please understand, I am having an incredible time. I spend most of the school day in the company of 2 American men (Peter and Andy) and a Croatian woman (Petra). Along with most other relationships from this summer, I am the youngest (so be prepared for super mature nicole in a few weeks). After class, I continue to spend most of my time with the same people, plus the incredible Jure Tanko (And Petra Arko when she comes, or goes to the sea with us :) ). We eat, we drink, we sit by the Reka Ljubljanica, we get to know each other. And I am glad- I am incredibly thankful for these people that I have done life with for the past 3 weeks. I am thankful for the Slovene people that I get to spend weekends and short evenings with. I am thankful for my friend in Canada that I visited in May and may see again if I visit Dalhousie in 2 weeks (seriously- does anyone want to meet me there??? It will be really fun!), I am thankful for Tiljo and Špelica that return to me tomorrow. And in less than 2 weeks (or possibly 3 weeks), I will go back to another very significant part of my life- my home. Where I will finally be around people that I have missed deeply for the past 2 months, but will also feel the void from the people I am around now.

Anticipating this void makes me ask: Am I making the choice to always feel a slight yearing for relationships that cannot be a part of my life all of the time? Getting to know people is a cause for joy and, eventually, for grief. Letting your life be enriched with the company of others will inevitably cause great delight and great sorrow.

There is a song that I have fallen in love with called 'At the Hop' by Devendra Banhart:

Put me in your suitcase, let me help you pack
Cause you're never coming back, no you're never comin back
Cook me in your breakfast, put me on your plate
Cause you know I taste great, yes you know I taste great (note: does not apply really apply to this summer...)

And my favorite line:

Put me in your blue sky, or put me in your gray
Cause there's gotta be someway. Yes, there's gotta be some way.


I like this a lot. I think that this one line is why I did not realize that this song is really sad until Peter pointed it out to me.

I like knowing people, for selfish reasons, really. I like learning from you, and I like sharing with you, and I like seeing the things that you think are worth it in this world. I will miss you, sometimes so much that I physically hurt, but if you become even a fraction of my world, I will be thankful.






*If this is not the case, please... email me! Write to me! Let me know who you are! I'll take you out for coffee for being my first unknown reader!

Slika-me

Don't have much time- only a preview:



Andy is one of my charming American friends here- with the lovely Petra. Andy kept making slightly off-color murder jokes, which were a lot creepier when we noticed this van.



Both of my American boys... after the hike to Sveta Ana.



DUNJA!


A nice view of Zagreb, only slightly less beautiful with the huge cranes in the middle and the settings on my camera that I forgot to change.

Sink or Swim: And I'm Gone

'Allo folks:

Whoa- how is it July 12th? I feel like someone better make this crazy summer slow down fast.

Tečaj is already one week down- 3 to go. And already I am 'that girl' that complicates everyones life:

So last Monday we take a entrance exam... just testing us to see what level we should go to. I test into level 3. Ok, good, intermediate. Then I find out that there are 9 levels. What? I was a little crushed to only be level 3, but ok, no problem. I go to class prepared to learn. However, it's not so much of a challenge. I understand pretty well what is going on, which is very unusual for me in this lanugage, or Slovenia as a whole, really. So, being the nerd that I am, I ask them if I can move up to the next level. 'Wow, are you sure that you want to do that? There's a big change in between levels 3 and 4!'. Ok, true, but there are 9 levels right? It can't be that huge. So I move to level 4. It's great, I meet really cool people, my teacher is stellar, only one problem. I have NO IDEA what is going on. Every once and a while my friends give me looks like they don't know either, and I comfort them because I look completely dumbounded for the entire 3 hours. Do I quit? No, no. I am wayyy too stubborn. I continue to go, thinking that all of a sudden this Slavic vocabulary will 'click'.
Then I find out that there are not 9 levels for the summer students. There are 4.

I switched back today. I think that I will be happier, only my pride is a little wounded...


Blog about the wonders of Zagreb, to come! Dunja: You deserve a shout out- I miss you already. And I cannot make the coffee to taste nearly as wonderful as you did, btw.

One of these things is not like the others

Best 4th of July Yet

I realize that the day is just starting for most of you readers... or has already finished, maybe a couple of weeks ago :) However, my celebrations ended at 5 this morning when I finally crashed for complete lack of energy.

Like last year, I asked if people had special requests for American food... and ended up with a similar spread of 4th of Julyish foods: 7 layer dip (hold your comments, laird), chicken salad sandwiches, deviled eggs, cookies, and s'mores. And cranberries- why? Because when I asked my friend Jure what surprised him the most about America when he lived there over the summer his response was "I was mostly surprised by how much people like cranberry." This was not really what I was expecting, but I suppose we do love cranberries. Or maybe we don't- my perception is skewed from years of being friends with Chris Coffey. But if it is true, than our cranberries are their hazelnut and apricot:
(Tilen: That is not true, where do you find hazelnut and apricot?
Me: It's lunch and this is the second thing that I've eaten with apricot in it
Tilen: I am not convinced.
3 hours later we cycle to Blate, and are served juice: apricot).

Anyway, we kick off the party by hanging up this flag that Nejc's so carefully constructed, we eat, we drink, we roast marshmallows and play frisbee. Then we go to a veselica and dance, literally through the night. Partner dancing. Polka, swing, and reggae. I, Nicole, queen of dance (note: not implying that I have skill, but rather, endurance), literally had to stop because I was exhausted. And still am. And today I will rest. And then hike Sveta Ana.

Happy Independence Day, folks.

And I thought you coudn't get worse than Santa Claus

wrong.

On Joy and Sorrow

Sorry about the blog overload- I am near a computer and have lots of things I have been meaning to share. I've got a few more stories I am saving (i.e. cheese''burger'' misunderstanding, smashing my finger helping a woman carry her motorbike up the stairs at the train station), but I will not write them all now, becau0se I do not think that I can send more than 3 posts in a day without seeming desperate. Maybe I already passed the limit? Maybe.

However, this was neat and I wanted to share. I have made a wonderful friend here named Jani (short for Janez). We've had many a conversation about life... and I told him all about my favorite poem (On Joy and Sorrowby Kahlil Gibran) in English, before he realized that he had the same book in Slovene. Here it is, in Slovene:

O Veselju in Žalosti:
Nato mu poroče neka žena: Govori nam o Veselju in Žalosti.

In on je govoril:

Vaše veselje je vaša nezakrita žalost.
Isti vir, iz katerega se poraja vaš smeh, je bil mnogokrat napojen s solzami.
Je mar mogoče, da bi bilo drugače?
Kolikor globlje bo žalost presunila vaše bitje, toliko več veselja boste lahko zadržali.
Mar vašega vrča za vino ni žgal lončar v peči?
In lutnja, ki vam boža dušo, mar ni iz lesa, ki so ga izdolbli z noži?
Ko so veselite, poglejte globoko v svoje srce in spoznali boste, da vam prinaša veselje pravzaprav tisto, kar vam je zadalo bolest.
Ko se žalostite, si znova poglejte v srce in videli boste, da jočete za svojo slastjo.

Nekateri med vami pravijo: 'Veselje je večje od žalosti,' in drugi: 'Ne, žalost je večja.'
Jaz pa vam pravim, da sta neločjiva.
Skupaj prihajata in ko prvo samo prisede k vaši mizi, so spomnite, da druga spi v vaši postelji.

Kot tehtnica ste, razpeti med svojo žalost in svoje veselje.
Samo tedaj, ko sta vaši skodeli prazni, ste mirni in v ravnotežju.
Ko vas zakladničar vzdigne, da izmeri svoje zlato in srebro, bo vaša žalost ali vaše veselje poraslo ali padlo.


And I can sort of understand!
Well, 50%.

From One Who Knows Little About Music

In case you're interested, these songs have been delightful:

(would like to give a shout out to Travis Lindeman, who gave me most of this music)

1. 'This Side' by Nickel Creek. Beautiful.
2. 'Everybody Come Outside' by The Pomegranates. good song, plus pomegranates are called grenade apples here, which is wildly appropriate. Slovenia, +1
3. 'Life is Grand' by Old Canes. true.
4. 'If You Want' by Brent Berry Band. I have no choice but to include him. Plus, this song seems really appropriate sometimes
5. 'There Will be No Divorce' by The Mountain Goats I see mountain goats every day.
6. 'Worry About it Later' by Brakes Brakes Brakes. Aside from being a really great, upbeat song that I love to cycle to, the title is very comforting for me, especially now when i want to stop thinking about things.
7. 'At the Hop' by Devendra Banhart. Put me in your suitcase, let me help you pack. Cause you're never comin' back, no you're never comin' back.
8. 'W' by the Cave Singers. I think that I got the title wrong, but my computer is about to die... no time to look this up. good song though.
9. 'Nothing Better' by The Postal Service. mostly just love that I am not the most dramatic person that lives.
10. 'Yoshima' by The Flaming Lips. It's nice to be here, in a simple place :)
11. 'I Wanna Have Your Babies' by Natasha Bedingfield. not really. this is just a tribute to my roommates. However, if you have not watched this music video, i highly recommend it.
12. 'Fastcar' by Tracy Chapman. this one's for you jeff. good song.
13. 'Wheat Kings' by The Tragically Hip. Canadian band. Great song.
14. 'Bye Bye' by BBB

Some Might Call This A Bad Mistake. I Say, ''Blue is a nice color''.

So I turned all of the laundry blue today. This has never happened to me before, but now that I think about it, at my parent's house, I learned to separate everything into 16 loads (and let it be known, that my mother can remove ANY stain that ever has existed), and when I started throwing all of my laundry into the same washing machine (including cadaver clothes), it was at the Island house... where we cannot use the washing machine between 11pm and 8am, because it is impossible to sleep over the noise that it makes. The machine that we often sit on when it's empty, but cannot sit on while its working, because the risk of getting motion sickness is too great. The machine where even the "hot" water could be used to make ready-to-serve lemonade.

I figure, it's not such a big problem. Blue jeans are blue anyway... and it changed everything very consistently. There were a few striped shirts that are just darker... bandannas have more colors, white tanktops are a beautiful sky blue (side note: nothing was blue in the first place, making this a bit of an enigma).

If anything, I found a really cheap way to change your wardrobe. Just wash your clothes in Slovenia. If you have anything you would like altered, I would be happy to do everything in my power.

Katie, Tyler, Nick, You'd better start re-writing that song:

It's hard to believe that I've been gone a month- it feels like maybe 3 or 4 have gone past... and still, full classes have yet to begin...


Even though I've quickly been caught up in life here, I have still gotten a lot of time to think and process lifey-life things (that is for you, Barry... where ever you are). I am not going to post most of them on this blog, because I know that, as much as I secretly hope for it to be, my life is just not the most important thing in the world to you.

However, there are some changes that I have realized are occuring within me- things that I have always thought or anticipated are shifting a bit (mostly regarding life and plans but also ideas- if you want to know more, make an expensive phone call :) Or email...). And some are more signifiant than others... but one may influence you all:

I love babies.

WHAT?! Yeah, I know. I had this moment in Canada that most of you have probably had at some time, where I was holding this sweet little infant (!!! i know, i know), and she put her whole hand around my pinky, and I melted a little bit. And I get really excited to see Eva and Blaž's baby Tija. She is beautiful. She giggles all of the time and tried to eat my necklace (I guess she already has good taste, ehhh???). I love her. I even offered to babysit.

So, mom, Rachel, don't get too excited. That still doesn't mean I will have them for a long time, especially considering my social ineptness that boys refuse to see as 'charm'. And this, in No Way, Shape, or Form means that I am ok with watching any baby video on youtube. I will forever hate 'Charlie bit my finger', and believe strongly that the would be a better place if that video was destroyed.

can't think of a good enough name.

I am spent.


I have been going to "lektorat" for 2 weeks now... 3 hours a day, 3 or 4 days a week, just the instructor and I, speaking solely in Slovene. Doesn't sound too bad? Wrong. It's bad. My brain is mush afterward. After tutoring on Friday, I realized that I was just staring at intently at this insignificant sign (probably with my mouth open, and eyes partially closed), and I didn't know how long I'd been there. Then I looked at my watch, and class had ended 11 minutes ago. What?! 11 minutes of doing nothing but standing and watching a sign.

It is wonderful though, being able to semi-communicate with beloved people. It's also nice to be able to refuse food and have a slightly larger vocabulary (though even young people who can speak English give you the food pressure. For example, every time I eat with my roommates, Rok and Nejc and Jure, they too try to get me to continue eating. "Have more!" "Come on, eat, eat" "Nicole, there is plenty of food, have more!" They even did this on Thursday, "Nicole, please eat more." Why was this strange? I made lunch.).

I am trying to find energy- everyone is taking such great care of me. Jure is the most hospital roommate ever, and I have incredible friends here that never want me to be bored. The only problem is, I would not mind being bored for just a little while. :) Sometimes I go to the river to do my homework, and am truly relaxed. Maybe it's the gentle breeze brushing the hair against my shoulders, or the sun setting and bringing out the pink hues in the buildings, or the boats slowly moving past, or hearing the groups of people laugh, or smelling the cigarette smoke waft past (note: I have again been forced to take up second-hand smoking. jbh, maybe you should come and visit). Maybe it's just that I am sitting and can still feel the soreness in legs, or maybe it's the fact that I am not really doing my homework, but just thinking about these things and how nice they are as I listen to Brent Berry Band. As peaceful as it is here... Brent Berry makes me just a little homesick for Lawrence :)

Today too will be full. Full of eating and drinking (definitely), full of cycling (hopefully), full of studying (perhaps).

Would be happy for news of you... miss you all. love, n

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I don't care if I am stabbing my country in the back. For the first time since the NCAA tournament, I watched a game and cared.

I weep with you, little Slovenija. You fought hard.

Germany!

Slovene Friends

http://cid-7f8379e464f319dc.skydrive.live.com/redir.aspx?page=play&resid=7F8379E464F319DC!346&Bpub=SDX.Photos&Bsrc=GetSharingLink

+ Amanda, of course :)

Pictures from Nova Scotia- Germany and more from Slovenia to come:

http://cid-7f8379e464f319dc.photos.live.com/play.aspx/Nova%20Scotia?Bsrc=EMSHGM&Bpub=SN.Notifications

copy and paste, in case you're interested.

love and miss you (probably?),
nicole

Some nice things

Every day, fresh milk. This rubs me the wrong way...


Nova Stifta, my favorite church.


Thank goodness!
Let's see what the statue things about this...


Oh good, Genius!

A few more pictures:

Of course. Why would I not be playing the guitar?


Back in Slovenia, Tadej's party in Kocevje. Tilen and Spela!


Beergarden in Stuttgart!


Why does Amanda hate Germany?


Beautiful place. Wonderful person. Peggy's Cove in Nova Scotia with Donnie

Veselica #2- Some of my friends!

From left to right:
a nice girl that I don't know, Palona- girlfriend of my roommate Nejc, the hilarious Nejc himself, Petra! My first wonderful friend who introduced me to all of these great people, Rok- my very sweet roommate, Jure- a very good friend/roommate, Jani- writer of the delightful-broken-English email and the one they're all trying to set me up with, Simon- the birthday boy, and Petra- his kind girlfriend.
Oh yeah, and me in the front, with my inability to smile like a normal human being.

Unusual Food Pressure

I ate yeast today.
I still don't really understand why.


It was a beautiful evening, and I had plenty of energy after the game, so I rode my bike to visit my pseudo-great-aunt in Blate. She is a sweet and wonderful woman that always forces me to eat things. Though, usually along the line of cookies or something.

Today, she was eating a hotdog and mayo. If I understood correctly (and i think that I did) there was no food at the house and Darinka was at the store. So she was eating a hotdog. Ok- normal. No problem. She also kept mentioning the yeast on the counter. Ok, not unusual. We don't always have too much to talk about, seeing as we cannot speak each others languages, so I figured she was just pointing things out. But she kept bringing up this yeast (in Slovene: Kvas).

Ok- no problem, I can talk about yeast. I tried to explain that in the US, it's in powder form and not in the butter-like packaged solid as it is here. She then broke a bit of it off and gave it to me. Ok, no problem. It's the consistency of plato and smells exactly like the yeast after you've put it in the water, but before mixing it with flour. She keeps saying that it's healthy. Yeah, good, of course it's not unhealthy... but she wont let it go. Then I realize that she wants me to eat the yeast. She wants me to eat this plato-like clump of single celled organisms in my hand. She wont let it go.

So I eat the yeast.


I ate the yeast.

Not so bad, really, but should the situation arise... I still recommend that you fake it.

the present moment

So I really love young adult science fiction or fantasy books- you probably know this about me already. And I love them shamelessly, because they are awesome, and I am therefore awesome for reading them without being able to set them down. They all look really cool too, sci-fi books. I think that it's a requirement that they have at least one person glowing on the cover.

A few months ago, I stumbled across a great book by Mr. Orson Scott Card, entitled Seventh Son. This book has my favorite literary character of all time, a man named "Taleswapper" whose role in life is to hear peoples stories and tell only those that are true. What a good life that would be...


I just finished the 2nd book of the series, which was slightly more lame, but equally addicting in the end. This was the last paragraph:
“At night in his own bed, Alvin listened to the distant greensong, still warm and beautiful, still bright and hopeful even though the forest was getting so sparse, even though the future was so dim. Cause there’s no fear of the future in the song of life, just the ever-joyful present moment. That’s all I want right now, though Alvin. The present moment, which is good enough.”
-Red Prophet by Orson Scott Card

I like this. All I want is the present moment... i like this a lot.
Right now, I am sitting in Ancka's living room: the window is open because it's cool due to the rain, and I can hear the people speaking at the bar across the street, laughing. I can hear polka music playing in the background (and I'd be willing to put good money on that accordion player being under the age of 30) and I can feel the mountain breeze on my shoulders. And I do feel really present here- I do feel like I am engaging in the life that I am living, but I don't think that life is isolated within Slovenia.

Living fully in the present- something that I want to do. To fully engage in life- holding nothing back... fully engaging in joy, fully engaging in sorrow (see: The Prophet). And yet, I recognize that I spend a lot of my time keeping in touch with people- refusing to let people leave my life even if they have moved on to different things... Does that take away from fully living in the present?

I don't think so... if you are someone that is in my life, it's probably because I cannot let you go. we are intertwined. I am attached to you because you have made me who I am somehow... so it seems natural to me that living fully in the present would also mean remaining attached with all of the people that I love. To be fully in the present, I need to be fully myself. Which means engaging with you people. That I love.



I'm really exhausted, so forgive me if none of that made sense. And if you'd prefer that I just keep the blog for reporting funny stories, i can do that.

Email from my new friend:

This is an email that I just received from my sweet friend Jani with whom I carpool...
hangel.
of course.


Hojla Nicole,

I hope that cookies will hangel to wait me, I'd like to taste it. I was thinking that, if we go cycling, we can take it themselves to having a brunch, or mybe they are good with cofee, with this caotics words I fill like one year old... ;)


I promise you:

Japonski dresnovec (Polygonum cuspidatum)

Neustavljiv plevel, ki hitro zavzame ogromne površine. Edin način je sočasna uporaba glifosata in odstranjevanja poganjkov. Pri tem moramo postopek ponavljati in ponavljati in ponavljati...



and



Nonviolent Communication: Language of life

dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg
http://www.cnvc.org/

I love this book, one Jezuit gave it to me

See you!

J.

˝There were bells on a hill, but I didn't hear them Ringing...˝

Clearly, this song is not referring to the Ribnica church bells. Because it would be impossible to not hear them ringing. At 7:00. At 8:00. At 9:00. For at least 5 minutes straight each time.

My joy and bugs consumed: A direct correlation

So I have often been quibbled about my open-mouth-face in pictures. Truth is, I don’t even realize that I do it, it’s natural. I don’t know why- I do not think that it looks cool and I do have a properly working jaw, so my picture face is somewhat of an enigma.

However, as I return to this beautiful place, and ride again through the “hills” (see: mountains are hills by Slovene definition) I am continuously swallowing bugs. It’s not a huge problem… girl's gotta get protein, no?… but it does mean that I ride with my mouth open, which is maybe not preferable.

Looking back through pictures, it seems apparent that the degree to which I open my mouth correlates with what kind of a time I am having.
what's the point of this post?
there are 2
a. i love slovenia
b. bugs aren't so bad.

A Couple of Interesting Profiles

I recently asked the question “Who are some of the most interesting people that you have ever met?” to one of my favorite people in the world. I was extremely complimented by being among the list, but I also realize that to be very interesting, you must have an element of crazy. Here are some people that I’ve met this summer that weigh heavily on crazy…

1. “Get that man some juice!”

(I am not actually in this video, but received a similar treatment)

John H. Pettipas, nice to meet you sir. When I think of you, words like “enthusiastic” and “nutso” come to mind. But you are very clearly an extremely successful business man.

This was my experience:

“Nicole, here’s 20 bucks, I am going to get gas, I’ll see you soon.”

Real cool, Donnie, real cool.

So I get dropped off at the most ridiculous looking souvenir shop of all time. There is something there to appeal to everyone… American flags, Cape Breton flags, cats made entirely of shells… tacky and beautiful. I walk in, and much to my surprise, nobody notices me at all. I peruse, contemplating whether sending the cat to Amanda and kate would be worth it or not… minding my own business when-

“WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDNTREALIZEANYONEWASINHERE! COMEWITHMEYOUNGLADY. STATEYOURNAMEANDYOURBUSINESS, WHOAREYOU? HERE, GRABTWOCUPSNOW, ONEFORYOU, ONEFORME, HAVESOMEJUICE!”

Ahhhh, so this is why Donnie wanted me to meet Mr. Pettipas… so I drink juice and tell him I’m from Kansas, to which he does not make the usual response (i.e. Oh… did you follow the yellow brick road to get here???), but instead started making phone calls around North America, trying to find some poor bloke that used to work for him (we’re talking multiple calls to the US)… we pretty much have this conversation when he finally reaches his old coworker:

HIM: “Hello?”

ME: “Hi. Uhhh, I hear you’re from Kansas.”

“Yeah…”

“I am also from Kansas.” (pause) “So where are you from?”

“Hays”

“Oh! Do you remember the house walnut street with all of the Christmas decorations?”

“Yeah, I think so, yes.”

“That was my grandmother’s house.” (Note on grandma, she too could get a profile here. In the back room of the house, she glued each one of her grandchildren’s faces on a wooden angel and suspended them from the ceiling).

“Oh wow, cool…. Yeah…”

“Ok, well… bye.”

Thanks John, I am glad that we had that conversation. However, the best part of the Pettipas experience, was when Donnie walked in… I’m in the back room with Pettipas, looking at the business card of the man that used to live in Kansas. Pettipas is on the phone with someone that may have known Kansas-man at some point in time.

Pettipas To Donnie: “Oj! Hey! Welcome Welcome!”

To me, before he knows Donnie is my friend: “You! Get that man some juice!” bah! I don’t know where the cups are! “Get ‘em some juice!”

Sorry Donnie. Someday, you’ll get your juice. Though I don’t think that you deserve it for dropping me off there.

__________________________

“Did you purchase anything?”

“I just gave him 5 dollars.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________-

2. “I’ll be a tyrant, but like… a good tyrant.”

The second profile earned is my “small cousin” (their name for 4^th cousin. Though really, he is my fake-4^th cousin. I don’t think that there is a name for that). His name is Joze… I had heard a lot about him but not yet met him.

I still don’t know too much about Joze, but I do know that A. He likes physics. A lot. And B. He dreams about ruling the world. Or at least, he does at the moment. He used to dream of setting up a settlement in another universe, but that was when he was 13. When he turned 14 and unlocked the ultimate wisdom of 8^th graders, he realized that of course he could not set up a space settlement, because even if you could somehow travel faster than the speed of light, you would have to communicate even faster, so that you could send messages between galaxies and then also get there in time to help.

Anyway, his plan for conquering the world looks like this…

a. Set up some sort of huge disaster

b. Come in and fix the problem, while being kind and gentle and powerful

But you ask… what is this staged disaster in the works?: Why of course, shutting down all methods of communication and power throughout the world.

Sound familiar? This is a fire sale.

Now, had he told me this plan a few months ago, perhaps I would have been worried, but not now:

Yippiekaye, mf.

Oh do feel free...

Hi!

I will write soon... the lovely Amanda Dieker left yesterday, and today I will get caught up on things as much as possible... but in case you would like to write to me, here's my info:

Nicole Schmidt c/o Nosan
Kolodvorska 9
1310 Ribnica
Slovenia

Emails are lovely too... comments... basically I love communication.
Slovenia is beautiful and welcoming and wonderful, as expected. Love you all.

Back in the Water

"There is no end to the adventures we can have if we only seek them with our eyes open."
-Jawaharial Nehru

So here we go again:
Yesterday morning my flight left for Halifax. If you don't know where it's located, you can ask Jeff Healy or Tyler Harnett- they know for sure and are super smart and wonderful for taking me to the airport :)

Basic agenda:
May 25-June 1: Halifax and Cape Breton
June 1st: Chillin again in Newark, the airport that has absolutely no readily available working electrical outlets.
June 2nd-June 5: Hanging with Amanda and Ronja in Stuttgart, Germany
June 5-August 5: V Slovenijo bom

I thought about renaming the blog, seeing as this situation no longer feels like an "Emergency". However, "This is a regular swimming situation" did not sound nearly as neat, and could potentially be misleading. "This is not a swimming situation" would not be true, and "Want to go swimming?" sounds like an offer that I am going to try to refuse, if strangers ask me (even though my father has a very specific set of skills).

But when it all comes down to it, I just really like the original name... plus it covers all bases (...and I don't really know how to change the name), even though it feels more like a snorkeling trip. I'm returning to places and people that I have already began to know, but want to see more clearly- learn again, explore...

In a lot of ways, this seems less risky, but in many ways is even more so. I'm trying to go without expectations... recognizing that things change in a year... like me, for example.
I guess we'll see, eh?

For The Greater Good...

Will everyone just get a mountain bike?