On Joy and Sorrow

Sorry about the blog overload- I am near a computer and have lots of things I have been meaning to share. I've got a few more stories I am saving (i.e. cheese''burger'' misunderstanding, smashing my finger helping a woman carry her motorbike up the stairs at the train station), but I will not write them all now, becau0se I do not think that I can send more than 3 posts in a day without seeming desperate. Maybe I already passed the limit? Maybe.

However, this was neat and I wanted to share. I have made a wonderful friend here named Jani (short for Janez). We've had many a conversation about life... and I told him all about my favorite poem (On Joy and Sorrowby Kahlil Gibran) in English, before he realized that he had the same book in Slovene. Here it is, in Slovene:

O Veselju in Žalosti:
Nato mu poroče neka žena: Govori nam o Veselju in Žalosti.

In on je govoril:

Vaše veselje je vaša nezakrita žalost.
Isti vir, iz katerega se poraja vaš smeh, je bil mnogokrat napojen s solzami.
Je mar mogoče, da bi bilo drugače?
Kolikor globlje bo žalost presunila vaše bitje, toliko več veselja boste lahko zadržali.
Mar vašega vrča za vino ni žgal lončar v peči?
In lutnja, ki vam boža dušo, mar ni iz lesa, ki so ga izdolbli z noži?
Ko so veselite, poglejte globoko v svoje srce in spoznali boste, da vam prinaša veselje pravzaprav tisto, kar vam je zadalo bolest.
Ko se žalostite, si znova poglejte v srce in videli boste, da jočete za svojo slastjo.

Nekateri med vami pravijo: 'Veselje je večje od žalosti,' in drugi: 'Ne, žalost je večja.'
Jaz pa vam pravim, da sta neločjiva.
Skupaj prihajata in ko prvo samo prisede k vaši mizi, so spomnite, da druga spi v vaši postelji.

Kot tehtnica ste, razpeti med svojo žalost in svoje veselje.
Samo tedaj, ko sta vaši skodeli prazni, ste mirni in v ravnotežju.
Ko vas zakladničar vzdigne, da izmeri svoje zlato in srebro, bo vaša žalost ali vaše veselje poraslo ali padlo.


And I can sort of understand!
Well, 50%.

From One Who Knows Little About Music

In case you're interested, these songs have been delightful:

(would like to give a shout out to Travis Lindeman, who gave me most of this music)

1. 'This Side' by Nickel Creek. Beautiful.
2. 'Everybody Come Outside' by The Pomegranates. good song, plus pomegranates are called grenade apples here, which is wildly appropriate. Slovenia, +1
3. 'Life is Grand' by Old Canes. true.
4. 'If You Want' by Brent Berry Band. I have no choice but to include him. Plus, this song seems really appropriate sometimes
5. 'There Will be No Divorce' by The Mountain Goats I see mountain goats every day.
6. 'Worry About it Later' by Brakes Brakes Brakes. Aside from being a really great, upbeat song that I love to cycle to, the title is very comforting for me, especially now when i want to stop thinking about things.
7. 'At the Hop' by Devendra Banhart. Put me in your suitcase, let me help you pack. Cause you're never comin' back, no you're never comin' back.
8. 'W' by the Cave Singers. I think that I got the title wrong, but my computer is about to die... no time to look this up. good song though.
9. 'Nothing Better' by The Postal Service. mostly just love that I am not the most dramatic person that lives.
10. 'Yoshima' by The Flaming Lips. It's nice to be here, in a simple place :)
11. 'I Wanna Have Your Babies' by Natasha Bedingfield. not really. this is just a tribute to my roommates. However, if you have not watched this music video, i highly recommend it.
12. 'Fastcar' by Tracy Chapman. this one's for you jeff. good song.
13. 'Wheat Kings' by The Tragically Hip. Canadian band. Great song.
14. 'Bye Bye' by BBB

Some Might Call This A Bad Mistake. I Say, ''Blue is a nice color''.

So I turned all of the laundry blue today. This has never happened to me before, but now that I think about it, at my parent's house, I learned to separate everything into 16 loads (and let it be known, that my mother can remove ANY stain that ever has existed), and when I started throwing all of my laundry into the same washing machine (including cadaver clothes), it was at the Island house... where we cannot use the washing machine between 11pm and 8am, because it is impossible to sleep over the noise that it makes. The machine that we often sit on when it's empty, but cannot sit on while its working, because the risk of getting motion sickness is too great. The machine where even the "hot" water could be used to make ready-to-serve lemonade.

I figure, it's not such a big problem. Blue jeans are blue anyway... and it changed everything very consistently. There were a few striped shirts that are just darker... bandannas have more colors, white tanktops are a beautiful sky blue (side note: nothing was blue in the first place, making this a bit of an enigma).

If anything, I found a really cheap way to change your wardrobe. Just wash your clothes in Slovenia. If you have anything you would like altered, I would be happy to do everything in my power.

Katie, Tyler, Nick, You'd better start re-writing that song:

It's hard to believe that I've been gone a month- it feels like maybe 3 or 4 have gone past... and still, full classes have yet to begin...


Even though I've quickly been caught up in life here, I have still gotten a lot of time to think and process lifey-life things (that is for you, Barry... where ever you are). I am not going to post most of them on this blog, because I know that, as much as I secretly hope for it to be, my life is just not the most important thing in the world to you.

However, there are some changes that I have realized are occuring within me- things that I have always thought or anticipated are shifting a bit (mostly regarding life and plans but also ideas- if you want to know more, make an expensive phone call :) Or email...). And some are more signifiant than others... but one may influence you all:

I love babies.

WHAT?! Yeah, I know. I had this moment in Canada that most of you have probably had at some time, where I was holding this sweet little infant (!!! i know, i know), and she put her whole hand around my pinky, and I melted a little bit. And I get really excited to see Eva and Blaž's baby Tija. She is beautiful. She giggles all of the time and tried to eat my necklace (I guess she already has good taste, ehhh???). I love her. I even offered to babysit.

So, mom, Rachel, don't get too excited. That still doesn't mean I will have them for a long time, especially considering my social ineptness that boys refuse to see as 'charm'. And this, in No Way, Shape, or Form means that I am ok with watching any baby video on youtube. I will forever hate 'Charlie bit my finger', and believe strongly that the would be a better place if that video was destroyed.

can't think of a good enough name.

I am spent.


I have been going to "lektorat" for 2 weeks now... 3 hours a day, 3 or 4 days a week, just the instructor and I, speaking solely in Slovene. Doesn't sound too bad? Wrong. It's bad. My brain is mush afterward. After tutoring on Friday, I realized that I was just staring at intently at this insignificant sign (probably with my mouth open, and eyes partially closed), and I didn't know how long I'd been there. Then I looked at my watch, and class had ended 11 minutes ago. What?! 11 minutes of doing nothing but standing and watching a sign.

It is wonderful though, being able to semi-communicate with beloved people. It's also nice to be able to refuse food and have a slightly larger vocabulary (though even young people who can speak English give you the food pressure. For example, every time I eat with my roommates, Rok and Nejc and Jure, they too try to get me to continue eating. "Have more!" "Come on, eat, eat" "Nicole, there is plenty of food, have more!" They even did this on Thursday, "Nicole, please eat more." Why was this strange? I made lunch.).

I am trying to find energy- everyone is taking such great care of me. Jure is the most hospital roommate ever, and I have incredible friends here that never want me to be bored. The only problem is, I would not mind being bored for just a little while. :) Sometimes I go to the river to do my homework, and am truly relaxed. Maybe it's the gentle breeze brushing the hair against my shoulders, or the sun setting and bringing out the pink hues in the buildings, or the boats slowly moving past, or hearing the groups of people laugh, or smelling the cigarette smoke waft past (note: I have again been forced to take up second-hand smoking. jbh, maybe you should come and visit). Maybe it's just that I am sitting and can still feel the soreness in legs, or maybe it's the fact that I am not really doing my homework, but just thinking about these things and how nice they are as I listen to Brent Berry Band. As peaceful as it is here... Brent Berry makes me just a little homesick for Lawrence :)

Today too will be full. Full of eating and drinking (definitely), full of cycling (hopefully), full of studying (perhaps).

Would be happy for news of you... miss you all. love, n

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I don't care if I am stabbing my country in the back. For the first time since the NCAA tournament, I watched a game and cared.

I weep with you, little Slovenija. You fought hard.

Germany!

Slovene Friends

http://cid-7f8379e464f319dc.skydrive.live.com/redir.aspx?page=play&resid=7F8379E464F319DC!346&Bpub=SDX.Photos&Bsrc=GetSharingLink

+ Amanda, of course :)

Pictures from Nova Scotia- Germany and more from Slovenia to come:

http://cid-7f8379e464f319dc.photos.live.com/play.aspx/Nova%20Scotia?Bsrc=EMSHGM&Bpub=SN.Notifications

copy and paste, in case you're interested.

love and miss you (probably?),
nicole

Some nice things

Every day, fresh milk. This rubs me the wrong way...


Nova Stifta, my favorite church.


Thank goodness!
Let's see what the statue things about this...


Oh good, Genius!

A few more pictures:

Of course. Why would I not be playing the guitar?


Back in Slovenia, Tadej's party in Kocevje. Tilen and Spela!


Beergarden in Stuttgart!


Why does Amanda hate Germany?


Beautiful place. Wonderful person. Peggy's Cove in Nova Scotia with Donnie

Veselica #2- Some of my friends!

From left to right:
a nice girl that I don't know, Palona- girlfriend of my roommate Nejc, the hilarious Nejc himself, Petra! My first wonderful friend who introduced me to all of these great people, Rok- my very sweet roommate, Jure- a very good friend/roommate, Jani- writer of the delightful-broken-English email and the one they're all trying to set me up with, Simon- the birthday boy, and Petra- his kind girlfriend.
Oh yeah, and me in the front, with my inability to smile like a normal human being.

Unusual Food Pressure

I ate yeast today.
I still don't really understand why.


It was a beautiful evening, and I had plenty of energy after the game, so I rode my bike to visit my pseudo-great-aunt in Blate. She is a sweet and wonderful woman that always forces me to eat things. Though, usually along the line of cookies or something.

Today, she was eating a hotdog and mayo. If I understood correctly (and i think that I did) there was no food at the house and Darinka was at the store. So she was eating a hotdog. Ok- normal. No problem. She also kept mentioning the yeast on the counter. Ok, not unusual. We don't always have too much to talk about, seeing as we cannot speak each others languages, so I figured she was just pointing things out. But she kept bringing up this yeast (in Slovene: Kvas).

Ok- no problem, I can talk about yeast. I tried to explain that in the US, it's in powder form and not in the butter-like packaged solid as it is here. She then broke a bit of it off and gave it to me. Ok, no problem. It's the consistency of plato and smells exactly like the yeast after you've put it in the water, but before mixing it with flour. She keeps saying that it's healthy. Yeah, good, of course it's not unhealthy... but she wont let it go. Then I realize that she wants me to eat the yeast. She wants me to eat this plato-like clump of single celled organisms in my hand. She wont let it go.

So I eat the yeast.


I ate the yeast.

Not so bad, really, but should the situation arise... I still recommend that you fake it.

the present moment

So I really love young adult science fiction or fantasy books- you probably know this about me already. And I love them shamelessly, because they are awesome, and I am therefore awesome for reading them without being able to set them down. They all look really cool too, sci-fi books. I think that it's a requirement that they have at least one person glowing on the cover.

A few months ago, I stumbled across a great book by Mr. Orson Scott Card, entitled Seventh Son. This book has my favorite literary character of all time, a man named "Taleswapper" whose role in life is to hear peoples stories and tell only those that are true. What a good life that would be...


I just finished the 2nd book of the series, which was slightly more lame, but equally addicting in the end. This was the last paragraph:
“At night in his own bed, Alvin listened to the distant greensong, still warm and beautiful, still bright and hopeful even though the forest was getting so sparse, even though the future was so dim. Cause there’s no fear of the future in the song of life, just the ever-joyful present moment. That’s all I want right now, though Alvin. The present moment, which is good enough.”
-Red Prophet by Orson Scott Card

I like this. All I want is the present moment... i like this a lot.
Right now, I am sitting in Ancka's living room: the window is open because it's cool due to the rain, and I can hear the people speaking at the bar across the street, laughing. I can hear polka music playing in the background (and I'd be willing to put good money on that accordion player being under the age of 30) and I can feel the mountain breeze on my shoulders. And I do feel really present here- I do feel like I am engaging in the life that I am living, but I don't think that life is isolated within Slovenia.

Living fully in the present- something that I want to do. To fully engage in life- holding nothing back... fully engaging in joy, fully engaging in sorrow (see: The Prophet). And yet, I recognize that I spend a lot of my time keeping in touch with people- refusing to let people leave my life even if they have moved on to different things... Does that take away from fully living in the present?

I don't think so... if you are someone that is in my life, it's probably because I cannot let you go. we are intertwined. I am attached to you because you have made me who I am somehow... so it seems natural to me that living fully in the present would also mean remaining attached with all of the people that I love. To be fully in the present, I need to be fully myself. Which means engaging with you people. That I love.



I'm really exhausted, so forgive me if none of that made sense. And if you'd prefer that I just keep the blog for reporting funny stories, i can do that.

Email from my new friend:

This is an email that I just received from my sweet friend Jani with whom I carpool...
hangel.
of course.


Hojla Nicole,

I hope that cookies will hangel to wait me, I'd like to taste it. I was thinking that, if we go cycling, we can take it themselves to having a brunch, or mybe they are good with cofee, with this caotics words I fill like one year old... ;)


I promise you:

Japonski dresnovec (Polygonum cuspidatum)

Neustavljiv plevel, ki hitro zavzame ogromne površine. Edin način je sočasna uporaba glifosata in odstranjevanja poganjkov. Pri tem moramo postopek ponavljati in ponavljati in ponavljati...



and



Nonviolent Communication: Language of life

dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg
http://www.cnvc.org/

I love this book, one Jezuit gave it to me

See you!

J.

˝There were bells on a hill, but I didn't hear them Ringing...˝

Clearly, this song is not referring to the Ribnica church bells. Because it would be impossible to not hear them ringing. At 7:00. At 8:00. At 9:00. For at least 5 minutes straight each time.

My joy and bugs consumed: A direct correlation

So I have often been quibbled about my open-mouth-face in pictures. Truth is, I don’t even realize that I do it, it’s natural. I don’t know why- I do not think that it looks cool and I do have a properly working jaw, so my picture face is somewhat of an enigma.

However, as I return to this beautiful place, and ride again through the “hills” (see: mountains are hills by Slovene definition) I am continuously swallowing bugs. It’s not a huge problem… girl's gotta get protein, no?… but it does mean that I ride with my mouth open, which is maybe not preferable.

Looking back through pictures, it seems apparent that the degree to which I open my mouth correlates with what kind of a time I am having.
what's the point of this post?
there are 2
a. i love slovenia
b. bugs aren't so bad.

A Couple of Interesting Profiles

I recently asked the question “Who are some of the most interesting people that you have ever met?” to one of my favorite people in the world. I was extremely complimented by being among the list, but I also realize that to be very interesting, you must have an element of crazy. Here are some people that I’ve met this summer that weigh heavily on crazy…

1. “Get that man some juice!”

(I am not actually in this video, but received a similar treatment)

John H. Pettipas, nice to meet you sir. When I think of you, words like “enthusiastic” and “nutso” come to mind. But you are very clearly an extremely successful business man.

This was my experience:

“Nicole, here’s 20 bucks, I am going to get gas, I’ll see you soon.”

Real cool, Donnie, real cool.

So I get dropped off at the most ridiculous looking souvenir shop of all time. There is something there to appeal to everyone… American flags, Cape Breton flags, cats made entirely of shells… tacky and beautiful. I walk in, and much to my surprise, nobody notices me at all. I peruse, contemplating whether sending the cat to Amanda and kate would be worth it or not… minding my own business when-

“WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDNTREALIZEANYONEWASINHERE! COMEWITHMEYOUNGLADY. STATEYOURNAMEANDYOURBUSINESS, WHOAREYOU? HERE, GRABTWOCUPSNOW, ONEFORYOU, ONEFORME, HAVESOMEJUICE!”

Ahhhh, so this is why Donnie wanted me to meet Mr. Pettipas… so I drink juice and tell him I’m from Kansas, to which he does not make the usual response (i.e. Oh… did you follow the yellow brick road to get here???), but instead started making phone calls around North America, trying to find some poor bloke that used to work for him (we’re talking multiple calls to the US)… we pretty much have this conversation when he finally reaches his old coworker:

HIM: “Hello?”

ME: “Hi. Uhhh, I hear you’re from Kansas.”

“Yeah…”

“I am also from Kansas.” (pause) “So where are you from?”

“Hays”

“Oh! Do you remember the house walnut street with all of the Christmas decorations?”

“Yeah, I think so, yes.”

“That was my grandmother’s house.” (Note on grandma, she too could get a profile here. In the back room of the house, she glued each one of her grandchildren’s faces on a wooden angel and suspended them from the ceiling).

“Oh wow, cool…. Yeah…”

“Ok, well… bye.”

Thanks John, I am glad that we had that conversation. However, the best part of the Pettipas experience, was when Donnie walked in… I’m in the back room with Pettipas, looking at the business card of the man that used to live in Kansas. Pettipas is on the phone with someone that may have known Kansas-man at some point in time.

Pettipas To Donnie: “Oj! Hey! Welcome Welcome!”

To me, before he knows Donnie is my friend: “You! Get that man some juice!” bah! I don’t know where the cups are! “Get ‘em some juice!”

Sorry Donnie. Someday, you’ll get your juice. Though I don’t think that you deserve it for dropping me off there.

__________________________

“Did you purchase anything?”

“I just gave him 5 dollars.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________-

2. “I’ll be a tyrant, but like… a good tyrant.”

The second profile earned is my “small cousin” (their name for 4^th cousin. Though really, he is my fake-4^th cousin. I don’t think that there is a name for that). His name is Joze… I had heard a lot about him but not yet met him.

I still don’t know too much about Joze, but I do know that A. He likes physics. A lot. And B. He dreams about ruling the world. Or at least, he does at the moment. He used to dream of setting up a settlement in another universe, but that was when he was 13. When he turned 14 and unlocked the ultimate wisdom of 8^th graders, he realized that of course he could not set up a space settlement, because even if you could somehow travel faster than the speed of light, you would have to communicate even faster, so that you could send messages between galaxies and then also get there in time to help.

Anyway, his plan for conquering the world looks like this…

a. Set up some sort of huge disaster

b. Come in and fix the problem, while being kind and gentle and powerful

But you ask… what is this staged disaster in the works?: Why of course, shutting down all methods of communication and power throughout the world.

Sound familiar? This is a fire sale.

Now, had he told me this plan a few months ago, perhaps I would have been worried, but not now:

Yippiekaye, mf.

Oh do feel free...

Hi!

I will write soon... the lovely Amanda Dieker left yesterday, and today I will get caught up on things as much as possible... but in case you would like to write to me, here's my info:

Nicole Schmidt c/o Nosan
Kolodvorska 9
1310 Ribnica
Slovenia

Emails are lovely too... comments... basically I love communication.
Slovenia is beautiful and welcoming and wonderful, as expected. Love you all.