There's gotta be someway... yes, there's gotta be someway.

Wow- it is ''prenora'' that it is already the 23rd of July... meaning I leave Slovenia in a few days... less than 2 weeks. I am pretty heart broken, but realize that I have chosen this way of life... knowing people deeply and well- allowing myself to be blessed by them and also, then, living away from them... feeling their absense. I find myself in this pattern that I am completely thankful for, and completely broken by.


I miss you. If you are reading my blog, I am assuming that is true, mostly because I do not think that I am such a stellar author (or storyteller, for that matter, as much as it pains me to say that) that people who do not care about me would read my writings.*

This has been a really unusual summer. I fought against allowing myself to form any expections- mostly becuase I have a wild and extremely optimistic outlook on life and tend to imagine perfect situations where everything always goes right. Therefore, I am glad that I tried to go without expectations... certainly I would not have expected this summer to go this way. Please understand, I am having an incredible time. I spend most of the school day in the company of 2 American men (Peter and Andy) and a Croatian woman (Petra). Along with most other relationships from this summer, I am the youngest (so be prepared for super mature nicole in a few weeks). After class, I continue to spend most of my time with the same people, plus the incredible Jure Tanko (And Petra Arko when she comes, or goes to the sea with us :) ). We eat, we drink, we sit by the Reka Ljubljanica, we get to know each other. And I am glad- I am incredibly thankful for these people that I have done life with for the past 3 weeks. I am thankful for the Slovene people that I get to spend weekends and short evenings with. I am thankful for my friend in Canada that I visited in May and may see again if I visit Dalhousie in 2 weeks (seriously- does anyone want to meet me there??? It will be really fun!), I am thankful for Tiljo and Špelica that return to me tomorrow. And in less than 2 weeks (or possibly 3 weeks), I will go back to another very significant part of my life- my home. Where I will finally be around people that I have missed deeply for the past 2 months, but will also feel the void from the people I am around now.

Anticipating this void makes me ask: Am I making the choice to always feel a slight yearing for relationships that cannot be a part of my life all of the time? Getting to know people is a cause for joy and, eventually, for grief. Letting your life be enriched with the company of others will inevitably cause great delight and great sorrow.

There is a song that I have fallen in love with called 'At the Hop' by Devendra Banhart:

Put me in your suitcase, let me help you pack
Cause you're never coming back, no you're never comin back
Cook me in your breakfast, put me on your plate
Cause you know I taste great, yes you know I taste great (note: does not apply really apply to this summer...)

And my favorite line:

Put me in your blue sky, or put me in your gray
Cause there's gotta be someway. Yes, there's gotta be some way.


I like this a lot. I think that this one line is why I did not realize that this song is really sad until Peter pointed it out to me.

I like knowing people, for selfish reasons, really. I like learning from you, and I like sharing with you, and I like seeing the things that you think are worth it in this world. I will miss you, sometimes so much that I physically hurt, but if you become even a fraction of my world, I will be thankful.






*If this is not the case, please... email me! Write to me! Let me know who you are! I'll take you out for coffee for being my first unknown reader!

Slika-me

Don't have much time- only a preview:



Andy is one of my charming American friends here- with the lovely Petra. Andy kept making slightly off-color murder jokes, which were a lot creepier when we noticed this van.



Both of my American boys... after the hike to Sveta Ana.



DUNJA!


A nice view of Zagreb, only slightly less beautiful with the huge cranes in the middle and the settings on my camera that I forgot to change.

Sink or Swim: And I'm Gone

'Allo folks:

Whoa- how is it July 12th? I feel like someone better make this crazy summer slow down fast.

Tečaj is already one week down- 3 to go. And already I am 'that girl' that complicates everyones life:

So last Monday we take a entrance exam... just testing us to see what level we should go to. I test into level 3. Ok, good, intermediate. Then I find out that there are 9 levels. What? I was a little crushed to only be level 3, but ok, no problem. I go to class prepared to learn. However, it's not so much of a challenge. I understand pretty well what is going on, which is very unusual for me in this lanugage, or Slovenia as a whole, really. So, being the nerd that I am, I ask them if I can move up to the next level. 'Wow, are you sure that you want to do that? There's a big change in between levels 3 and 4!'. Ok, true, but there are 9 levels right? It can't be that huge. So I move to level 4. It's great, I meet really cool people, my teacher is stellar, only one problem. I have NO IDEA what is going on. Every once and a while my friends give me looks like they don't know either, and I comfort them because I look completely dumbounded for the entire 3 hours. Do I quit? No, no. I am wayyy too stubborn. I continue to go, thinking that all of a sudden this Slavic vocabulary will 'click'.
Then I find out that there are not 9 levels for the summer students. There are 4.

I switched back today. I think that I will be happier, only my pride is a little wounded...


Blog about the wonders of Zagreb, to come! Dunja: You deserve a shout out- I miss you already. And I cannot make the coffee to taste nearly as wonderful as you did, btw.

One of these things is not like the others

Best 4th of July Yet

I realize that the day is just starting for most of you readers... or has already finished, maybe a couple of weeks ago :) However, my celebrations ended at 5 this morning when I finally crashed for complete lack of energy.

Like last year, I asked if people had special requests for American food... and ended up with a similar spread of 4th of Julyish foods: 7 layer dip (hold your comments, laird), chicken salad sandwiches, deviled eggs, cookies, and s'mores. And cranberries- why? Because when I asked my friend Jure what surprised him the most about America when he lived there over the summer his response was "I was mostly surprised by how much people like cranberry." This was not really what I was expecting, but I suppose we do love cranberries. Or maybe we don't- my perception is skewed from years of being friends with Chris Coffey. But if it is true, than our cranberries are their hazelnut and apricot:
(Tilen: That is not true, where do you find hazelnut and apricot?
Me: It's lunch and this is the second thing that I've eaten with apricot in it
Tilen: I am not convinced.
3 hours later we cycle to Blate, and are served juice: apricot).

Anyway, we kick off the party by hanging up this flag that Nejc's so carefully constructed, we eat, we drink, we roast marshmallows and play frisbee. Then we go to a veselica and dance, literally through the night. Partner dancing. Polka, swing, and reggae. I, Nicole, queen of dance (note: not implying that I have skill, but rather, endurance), literally had to stop because I was exhausted. And still am. And today I will rest. And then hike Sveta Ana.

Happy Independence Day, folks.

And I thought you coudn't get worse than Santa Claus

wrong.